Bullies, How Far Will We Allow It To Go?

States have passed anti-bullying legislation making it illegal to bully. Bullying is so prevalent in our schools today that many have dedicated entire sections to it in their student handbooks. Our school handbook defines bullying in part as "the intentional harassment, intimidation, humiliation, ridicule, defamation, or threat or incitement of violence by a student against another student..."

As a parent, it is heartbreaking to hear your child has been violently hit or verbally assaulted. Upsetting enough that I even cried as my child calmly recounted his playground incident from Friday. We dealt with some bullying issues when he was in the first grade last year, but nothing that we felt was beyond the semi-normal realm of mean children being mean children. I was totally caught off guard when I realized we had a problem this year.

There had been several incidents here and there over the semester with some of our classmates that I had heard about, but I wasn't overly concerned because of my confidence in our teacher. During our parent teacher conferences I reported to her some of the stories I had been told, mainly to see if what I was hearing was true, and she confirmed they were and assured me that the mischief makers were being punished and so forth.

Fast forward to last week. My son came home daily with new stories of how so-and-so did such-and-such to little Billy and/or Sally. He was always quick to say, "but they didn't mess with me," or "but I didn't get involved" but it seemed like the incidents were increasing in severity. I always asked where the teacher was while these incidences were occurring and he always said that they weren't out there. When I would ask if his classroom teacher knew about it, he would say "Mom, we aren't allowed to tell our teacher anything that happens on the playground because she isn't out there." I told him that I would make a visit to see his principal to make sure that the school was aware that these incidents were happening. I also told him that even if he wasn't involved to always try to get help for kids that are being mistreated, and I really tried to reinforce that God wants us to be kind to one another and help those in trouble. In the moment, that felt like enough.

For several reasons I didn't stop in or call the school last week like I should have done. I figured I would get-around-to-it this week. Little did I know he was going to be shoved down, hit, and kicked several times Friday on the playground. All of which he really hesitated to tell me later that night as I was getting him ready for bed. It was almost as if he was embarrassed, like he had done something wrong. (I forget that he is a man in training, pride is already a factor!) Apparently several were involved: one girl was choked, one girl's hair was pulled, and he and a friend of his were hit and kicked. AGAIN, where were the teachers? Shocking, isn't it? Unannounced to him, I called several of the parents whose children were involved and each of their stories were the same...They had been playing with one another when the bullies came up and started harassing them. Totally uncalled for.

I would never want to embarrass him by telling this story, but after talking to several parents I feel that this story resonates with too many of our children.

As a parent, you simply feel helpless. To some extent, we are helpless. We did all the things we could. I went up to the school. Of course we reported the problem to the teacher and principal, we contacted other parents involved, and we tried to assure our child that just because other kids act a certain way doesn't mean that we should, but the effects of ridicule and violence outlast any trip to the Principal's office I have ever seen. Luckily, our child feels better after having met with our principal, and he shows no sign of fear of these other children. I can, however, see a scary future for these other children involved if immediate intervention isn't implemented. Teaching him to "love his enemies" according to the gospel of Matthew 5:44 and "to pray for them," hasn't been an easy task but we are trying. The mama bear in me wants to give everyone a spanking but seven year olds are getting a little big for a simple slap on the bottom. I'm not convinced that more violence is going to solve these children's issues.

According to www.bullyingstatistics.org, half of all school aged children will experience some form of school bullying. I recommend talking about bullying with your child/children. Our children have to hear us tell them that it is ok to report problems that are occurring at school. It is our job to LISTEN. We are THEIR ADVOCATES and we should protect them WITHOUT APOLOGY. I'm not sure that I care whether or not I upset the principal for repeating "I just want to make sure you understand I feel this is completely unacceptable and has to stop." My only concerns are that children are safe, that they can learn in an environment where they FEEL safe, and that my child knows that I will stand up for him.

My daddy would be proud of me, he always stood up for me. It was something I could count on out of him. :) I hope my children will one day be able to say the same of me. Let me hear from you, is bullying a problem you have faced? How did you deal with it? Much love to each of you.

Saying it with SONGS!

I have spent a lot of time reflecting on what God would have me to blog about this week, and HE has FAITHFULLY supplied plenty of material!

Although I have jotted down several ideas to share this week, I thought with my brief free time on a Saturday I would share some pieces of different songs that have come together to speak to me. I thought it was neat that God would use KLOVE (a Christian radio station) to help me have such an audible conversation with HIM! Each line is a different song lyric with the artist who sings the song in parenthesis!

Here is what I heard:

"I am RESTLESS looking for you.." (Switchfoot)
"Calloused and bruised, dazed and confused, lying with my face down on the floor, crying out for more. Give me words to SPEAK.." (Aaron Shust)
"YOU are GOOD, YOU are GOOD when there is nothing good in me....I'm running to your arms" (One Sonic Society)
"You reach for me with a love that quiets all my fears" (Peter Furled)
"I trust in JESUS, My STRONG DELIVERER" (Third Day)
"If we gotta start somewhere, I say here..we gotta start sometime, I say now..." (Toby Mac)
"You are making me new. You make BEAUTIFUL things out of the DUST." (Gunger)
"We are the light of the world, we are the city on a hill, we are the light of the world and we gotta let the light shine..." (Kelly JO)
"We'll sing until the whole world hears!" (Casting Crowns)

I hope you have a gReAt SATURDAY!
God BLESS!

Where we are now....

What a ROLLERCOASTER my life has been these last few months...I have struggled to accept unforeseen changes in my life. I have seen God move three of my five BEST FRIENDS to all sorts of different places. Then, my sister-in-law was promoted and her job moved her, my brother-in-law, my niece and my nephew four hours away. Just when I think I have a grip on all that is taking place, something else is tossed at us.

2011 definitely brought CHANGE, HEARTACHE, and GOD'S PRESENCE in the most TANGIBLE ways possible.

In November, Lydia turned one and what a great celebration I had planned.

We had a sweet cupcake party for her, and everyone brought items to donate to our church's compassion kits. The "bigger children" decorated their cupcakes, I read "If You Give a Mouse a Cupcake" and everyone enjoyed the candy bar items. We sang "Happy Birthday" with great joy. She giggled at all the attention, but she couldn't eat her cake...Sigh....Of all things, this shouldn't really bother me. I wasn't surprised at all, but somehow that represented one more thing she wasn't able to do and I WANTED her to be able to eat her cake. It was HER party. We held it together. Nonetheless, we had a great time celebrating HER!

Our Thanksgiving was spent in a tropical paradise with some of our dearest friends that moved away from us a year ago. They have left the busier schedules of our society and are living on island where they have started a home church that is GROWING weekly. I am in awe of how God has placed them exactly where they are, maybe I can share more about them later! We just took our two older boys, and did we ever have an adventure! We snorkeled, we cave-tubed (with bats!), and we enjoyed some fun in the sun. It was a nice break from our daily routines and hectic schedules. We couldn't have been MORE THANKFUL for our time with our friends and time away. (My husband rarely takes time off, and we soaked in as much QUALITY time as possible! The picture is a snapshot of our adventure!)

The month of December brought Christmas, a couple of FUN, Festive parties, some FAMILY time, and more turmoil in my life! My DEAREST friend and her family packed up and headed to the Northwest to plant a church in Spokane, Washington. Talk about FAR AWAY! Ugh! It was almost too much to take. God truly had blessed me with her friendship for the last 4 years, but as a pastor's wife and born missionary, I guess I always knew I wouldn't have her for long. What a great friend she has been, a true example to me of a SERVANT WIFE and Christian friend. I am sure she has strengthened my faith and my family. HER FAITH CHALLENGES ME....It is, in fact, one reason I have decided to open myself up here and share my GOD STORIES with each of you.

I am definitely a "WORK IN PROGRESS", imperfect person, still trying to make meaning from all the unsettling chaos in my life....You will not find one of those people who have it all together here. AND, I will try not to bore you with SO MANY personal details of my life, and begin to blog more about daily insights that I believe may relate to ALL of US, as I strive to be the AUTHENTIC kind of person I believe God wants me to be.

I say bring on 2012! "WE can do all things through Christ who gives US strength." Philippians 4:13... More to come on my thoughts and goals for a great new year...

Possible Setback? (2 Corinthians 5:7)

October's Prayer Requests...(Still referring to Recapping the last 7 months post...)

(I included a picture of our sweet girl, just in case you were curious of what she looks like! Isn't she a sweetie?)

Dear Prayer Warriors,

We continue to feel your prayers and the Lord's presence as we walk our journey. How can we ever thank you? You bring glory to our Father and its amazing to see how God uses your prayers to manifest himself in our lives!

Lydia is still making progress. This part of our journey started when she was 6 months and she is now nearly 11 months old! We are seeing her use her neck, arms, and legs more and more. She is able to spend longer and longer amounts of time on her stomach, pushing up and rolling over some. She seems to recognize the words: momma, dada, bubba, her name, bye-bye and bite! Her love for Elmo and Dora is already obvious, and her "crazy hair" continues to grow in its own unique way! She is loving, laid back, funny, and precious in every way. Please continue to ask God to help grow stronger every day!

Our physical therapist believes that last Friday she displayed a 1 to 2 second "episode" that could have been a seizure. I was sitting less than a foot away from Lydia and didn't see anything I would have ever characterized as a seizure, but I couldn't see her eyes and I am no expert in this area. It is very troubling to us because we know that she is at risk of having seizures. Our neurologist immediately prescribed a "preventive" type of seizure medication. On the way to the pharmacy, though, I grew overwhelmingly worried that putting Lydia on any kind of medicine like this one would be a hasty decision. Jud felt the same way. We called our neurologist back and asked a million questions. To be certain that Lydia needs this medication, or doesn't need it, we will do a 24 hour EEG on November 7. There are no guarantees that the "episode" will re-occur, if indeed it did ever occur. At this point, we have not started the medication. The medication would be something they would keep her on for two years before re-evaluating her, then it must be "tapered" down before taking her completely off of it. You can imagine our unrest. Please pray that if Lydia is having any kind of seizure activity that we will be able to see that in the EEG, but also pray that she is not seizing. We are so thankful for our physical therapist and neurologist, they are EXCELLENT. We know that they are very proactive and they have been blessings to us.

The Lord continues to be faithful. As our hearts cling to HIM, HE meets us exactly where we are, exactly when we need it. I find myself hearing more every day about the struggles of each of us. Thank you for sharing in our lives in such a real way. Being transparent is not something that comes natural to any of us, but there is such power in it. We know that this LIFE is HARD and we are thankful we are not alone. Thank you for being patient with us as our lives have changed, and thank you for your prayers on behalf of our sweet Lydia.

"So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened. Which of you fathers, if your sons asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead? ..... If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!" Luke 11:9-13

"We live by faith, not by sight." 2 Corinthians 5:7

Some News...(from Sept. 8, 2010)

Test Results Email....(See Recapping the Last 7 months entry for more details..)

Hey everyone!
Prayers continue to be answered. Our God is a mighty fortress.
We FINALLY have the results of the initial genetic tests done at the beginning of July. We are rejoicing in the LORD, for HE has heard our cries....Lydia's tests were all negative! Thank you, Jesus. (Deep sigh of relief, here.) I will say, as I mentioned in my earlier email, we felt certain that the Lord had already spoken that in our hearts..It is almost as if He has been telling us each step of the way to "HOLD ON and WAIT UPON ME." Not test results. We are 100% certain that HE wants us to focus our hearts on HIM and not on the things our doctors can come up with in our world. That is so much easier said than done, but HE is still willing to work with us on it. We know that HE is Lydia's CREATOR....He knew her before she was inside me...Wonderful and amazing, isn't it?

We have one test left to hear back on, and we figure it will be October before we get the results on it. As crazy as it sounds, we have peace about this test as well. This last test is to see if Lydia has the gene that is commonly associated with the genetic form of polymicrogyria. This disorder, polymicrogyria, is what they have diagnosed Lydia with based on the findings from the MRI we had done just before the fourth of July. This disorder is rare and involves the way the brain is formed during pregnancy. Each child with this disorder has different issues, and there are many varying forms of severity. We have tried not to research to much of it, as we feel that we will take each step as it comes. Our physical therapist mentioned last Friday that many children with this disorder do not talk or walk................BUT, OUR GOD is able. We will keep our eyes on Him. As you can imagine, hearing something like that is enough to sit you down and throw you right into your own little pitty party. I calmly made it to my car when therapy was over, and I began to sob. In that moment, as I cried out to the Lord, I made a commitment to myself and Lydia. I will continue to ask the LORD to help her overcome this.....We know that the word tells us, "We have not because we ask not." IF God chooses not to heal Lydia, it will not be because I haven't asked Him on her behalf. He is the ONE TRUE GOD and it will be in HIS HANDS and in HIS TIME.

We are hoping that you all will continue to storm HIS GATES on our behalf, ASKING HUMBLY that HE will have mercy on her. Again, Jud and I say: THANK YOU for being the hands and feet of Christ. Your love, on HIS behalf, is perfect. In each moment of need, you have been there.
We are celebrating every good thing. The earth is filled with HIS glory. Lydia hasn't had any seizure activity, therapies are going well, her brothers celebrate her everyday, and she is continuing to grow! I hope you are all doing well. WE THANK HIM for each of YOU!

Still Waiting on Test Results...(August 14, 2010)

Dear beloved family & friends,
We know many of you have been waiting to hear the newest information on Lydia, and we are grateful for your love and concern. Thank you all for continuing to pray for her and us. It is hard to believe we have now been on this journey for nearly two months now, it seems longer given all the things that have happened/are happening.....

As many of you know, we went back to Children's Hospital on Friday hoping to get more answers....That wasn't God's plan for us that day. The last test we have been waiting to get back, for a month now, is still not back. In addition to that, they have added two other genetic tests to be done. Jud and I are coming to the slow realization that really these tests mean having more information, not necessarily any kind of solution. Regardless of the results of the tests, there is no medication or surgery that will change Lydia's prognosis...Granted one problem they are testing for is a bit more severe than the others, we ultimately feel that she is (and always has been) in God's hands. We have been told that we might not be able to determine the cause of the problem, and we are at PEACE with that....God has really been showing us that Lydia is HIS child and that she is PERFECTLY made by her CREATOR.

We are praising God for all things, we know that HIS plan is perfect and HE doesn't make mistakes...She is showing progress in physical therapy, and we ask that you continue to pray for her success with it. She isn't able to sit up yet, but we are seeing her use her hands much more and we are hopeful that more success is right around the corner. We also found out that her head circumference has grown a centimeter in the last month, and this is a HUGE praise. We are tremendously thankful that she hasn't had any seizures and HIS grace is carrying us through this difficult time in ways that only HE can!!!!

I am so sorry for the delay in getting this email out to everyone, but I was really hoping to have something more concrete to tell everyone. I guess sitting down and writing all of these things out seems a little overwhelming in some ways, but I must say it is a great relief to know you all are standing here in this uncertain place with us. (Someone told me the other day: "remember, just because you expected the plane to land in Arkansas and instead you got off in Switzerland doesn't mean you're in a bad place! It's just not where you thought you were going to end up...." I can honestly say I completely agree with that statement.) :)We adore each of your friendships and covet your prayers. I am convinced without our King of Kings and each of your friendships we would be utterly hopeless...We know OUR GOD IS A MIGHTY FORTRESS and HE IS ON THE THRONE.

The beginning....

This is our original prayer request....(See Recapping the last 7 months.)

Hey guys.
We need your prayers. As most of you have heard, we are concerned that Lydia isn't reaching any of her milestones (like holding her head up, crawling, rolling over or holding toys). We have had several opinions over the last two weeks, and tomorrow we will be heading to Lebonheur at 11 for an MRI. The actual MRI is scheduled at 1:30. (Lydia will not be able to eat anything for 8 hours prior to the test, as they will be putting her to sleep. Pray that this all goes smoothly, as momma is not comfortable with any of this!)

God has been all over us and I appreciate your continued prayers and support. Already we are seeing God's provisions: We were able to see the physician we had been told we would not be able to see this evening, and the MRI appointment even being available to us is unheard of in this quick of a time frame. I know or God will not forsake us, and in James 1:2 it says "consider it a joy when you face trials because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance." We are resting in HIM and waiting on HIM to be our OVERCOMER.

Pray with us that the MRI doesn't show anything. There is some concern that her head is small for her age, they are unclear as to what that may (or may not) mean at this point. Pray that her brain is developing normally. It will be the beginning of next week before we are able to see a neurologist to determine the next steps.

Thank you for your prayers.

Waiting Is Hard...(Email from July 19, 2010)

A conituation of emails deatailing our last 7 months of ENCOUNTERING GOD with Lydia..


Dear Intercessors,
I know I have updated a good many of you all, but I wanted to touch base and give everyone the same information..We are now one week into this potential 6 week waiting process concerning the tests that Children's has run on Lydia. (I have always thought of myself as a patient person, but I am realizing more and more that I am NOT that patient when it comes to my babies.....) Our doctor has identified two potential disorders that they are looking into now, the second one she identified is actually a step "above" the other but neither are desirable...We also had another test done yesterday, also here in town, to determine if Lydia might have caught a virus as a newborn that went undetected. That test will also take a week to get back.


A PRAISE: We had an eye exam last week, here in town, and they have assured us that everything looks good. (Our neurologist wanted Lydia's eyes to be tested to see if she had any developmental delays in her vision...)



ANOTHER PRAISE: Yesterday Lydia started physical therapy. We feel very fortunate to have a GREAT therapist, she specializes in infants and has been very supportive of us. What a blessing to have such great care available to us in JONESBORO!


As we are putting one foot in front of the other, and living day to day with the unknown, we wanted to let you all know how much you (THE BEAUTIFUL BODY of CHRIST) have been comforting us. We so appreciate every prayer you have prayed and we are thanking God daily for you all. Please continue interceding on our behalf, our GOD is BIGGER and STRONGER..We have been truly humbled to see His LOVE for each of us during all that has been happening and we know it is because you all are lifting us up.

Our first visit to Arkansas Children's Hospital

Prayer Requests and Update #3 (See Recapping the Last 7 months entry..)

We are humbled...We are in AWE of the outpour of your love and support for us. You have been STORMING the gates of HEAVEN on ours and our beloved Lydia's behalf..How can we say thank you and feel that its adequate? It just doesn't even begin to cover it..I'm not sure that there are words big enough..We do believe that we should testify to the GOODNESS OF THE KING. We thought sharing some of GOD'S answers would be one way of showing you how you have been a blessing to us.



We all prayed and GOD ANSWERED:1. Lydia doesn't have anything fatal, progressive, or life threatening as posed as a possibility on Tuesday. (I could just stop right there and that would be enough, right? PRAISE HIM....THANK YOU JESUS.)2. They have narrowed it down to one series of tests to be done. This test was a simple blood test, not A SPINAL TAP as they had said would be likely on TUESDAY. It's only FRIDAY, GOD has moved swiftly for us...3. The EEG didn't show any signs of seizures....4. Lydia didn't make so much as a peep during these appointments and tests. She didn't even CRY when they took blood for the genetic testing...5. NOT one single appointment was behind schedule, we never waited for any serious length of time...with a baby, you know that is a BLESSING.6. Our doctors were awesome...7. HE gave us each of you and you were there at just the right moments...Calling, texting, emailing, sending us verses, you name it...


We love you all so dearly. You've meant the world to us over these last days.I hope this strengthens your faith as it has ours...We still need you to keep praying for us, as we are not clear what our future will hold. We may have up to six weeks before we get these genetic tests back. We are praying that they show no genetic/chromosome problem, we are asking God to prevent Lydia from EVER having a seizure-as that is a risk for her from now on according to the neurologist, and we are praying that Lydia's brain/head will continue growing. We are asking GOD for TOTAL HEALING. He has answered every prayer we have/you have prayed. PLEASE DON'T STOP PRAYING as we still have a long road ahead of us, but THE FUTURE IS BRIGHT.



Grateful & IN CHRIST

An update to original prayer request (July 4, 2010)

An update to prayer partners.... (See Recapping the last 7 months entry..)

I wanted to give a quick update of where we are with Lydia...First of all, we really want to say THANK YOU for praying for us and with us. Your phone calls, emails and texts have been comforting...We have really felt a sincere peace that is supernatural and truly it has been a gift from the LORD. Lydia did not make so much as a PEEP Friday, even though she had missed two of her normal feedings prior to the MRI, and she was JOYFUL after being put to sleep. The medicine did not make her sick, and she was able to eat almost immediately afterward. AND, would you believe the hospital/doctors were right on time? They were. Everything went very smoothly. Those are major praises.

We should hear something tomorrow. The neurologist is supposed to call us and tell us when to come in, he was out of town for the holiday Friday and we have no confirmed appointment at this time. Please continue to stand in the gap for us. We are praying for answers and we are praying for Lydia's brain to be normal.

*As a side note to those of you in our life group, my little day calendar had this for me/us on JULY 4: "Just as God wanted the Israelite's allegiance, He wants yours, too. He also wants your attention, your trust, your mind, your soul, your body, and your obedience. In a word, He wants YOU. Don't deny Him that pleasure. Embrace the wilderness and say, 'I want to be with You, Lord, even if that means staying in the wilderness until You're ready to bring me out.' As Moses said, 'If Your Presence does not go with us, do not bring us up from here.' ~ Exodus 33:15 ..... Good reminder isn't it? We are DESPERATE FOR HIM........

Inconclusive News...Hard to swallow.

Our second prayer request email (See Recapping the last 7 months...)


Hey gang. As many of you know we didn't get good news from the MRI that was done on Friday.........They have said nothing is conclusive, but they will be trying to determine if we are dealing with a virus, an infection, or a disorder. None of it sounds good.

I really would love if you guys could pray that GOD ALLOWS US TO WITNESS TOTAL HEALING, but if that isn't what HE has planned..Pray that whatever it is we are dealing with that it isn't life threatening, doesn't cause permanent damage, and that it is treatable.

I am very much in shock, but I am still very sure that HE IS ON THE THRONE. I love God, and each one of you. I am officially desperate for HIM.

We are heading to Children's Hospital tomorrow bright and early. Many of the tests that they will do tomorrow will take 2-3 weeks to get results on. Pray for those tests to be accurate and pray that we see GOD in every step forward as we have each step so far.


In CHRIST with love

Recapping the last 7 months.....

As I mentioned earlier, the idea of blogging hasn't really been a "settling" notion for me. However, God has been all over me about blogging! I have ALWAYS been a writer, but revealing details of my personal life with complete strangers is a new challenge. I have journals all the way back to my third grade year, I was the editor of my high school newspaper, and I majored in Journalism in college, you would think I could write in my sleep. After all, I enjoy writing as much as many enjoy coffee.

However, over the last 7 months, I have just felt empty of the words I would need to start a blog. Not speechless, but unable to WRITE....For the life of me I can't explain it. I am unsure if it comes down to my life circumstances, discipline or fear. I am one of those people who likes to do everything with 110% or why bother. A true "blog" from me would require that I force myself to be transparent, reflective, introspective, and it would add another "to-do" in the day. Trying to juggle all the responsibilities of a stay at home mom of three kids, while being active in my church and community has been keeping my days full. Lately, though, I would say that more of my resistance to blogging would have to land on the side of fearing that what I would write wouldn't be important enough for others to read...BUT, after much prayer and persistence from friends I now can say "IT IS WELL WITH MY SOUL."

To understand me, I figure I need to go ahead and share a little bit about who I am and what God is doing in my life. For starters, I have a sincere desire to develop and strengthen other believers and their walk with Christ. In whatever big or small way this blog does that, to God be the glory! Secondly, I deeply long to encourage other moms and wives as they search for themselves in a world that needs Christian friendships and examples. I have come to realize that without authentic Christian women in my life, I would be so lost.

The last 10 years I have been blessed to have the very best friend any girl could ask for as my husband. We have two handsome young boys and one darling little girl. Life was rolling right along, not perfectly but not far from it, when in July we took our then 6 month old little girl for her checkup. To make a long story short, we soon discovered that she has a rare brain malformation known as polymicrogyria. Rather than detail out those specifics I am going to include the emails that I sent out as our prayer chains to our intercessors...I pray that our stories shed some light on who I am and who OUR CREATOR is...I'll post more about our journey of faith as God prompts me to do so. I'd love your prayers and comments ANYTIME!