As the snow is silently stacking up outside my window, I can't help but think how perfect it is for me to spend this sad day indoors. All the while, I sit watching the bluebird play as if it were Spring. Such contrasting viewpoints of this life.....
Three years ago today my dad went to Heaven. That day has changed everything for me. It has changed my perspective on life, changed the way I parent, and has changed the way I LOVE the Lord.
No longer do I care for Friday 13's. I no longer feel complacent about funerals; I loath them. No longer can I say: "I can't wait to ask Dad about that." I must say I truly understand the hole that penetrates your soul when you loose someone that is irreplaceable.
I can also say that GOD is MERCIFUL and PRAISE HIM for HE is GOOD.
My dad was my best friend. My biggest fan. My true hero. Sigh. He made a lot of mistakes and was nowhere near perfect. In fact, I can remember begging my mother to divorce him on more than one occasion. Boy, I am so glad she didn't listen to me. I only share my pain of his loss with you to share HOPE with you. As my family and I grieve each year on this day, I also feel comfort knowing that I will see him again. He is resting in peace. My dad died at the young age of 59. He was not healthy, but his death was sudden and we were totally shocked that it was time to say goodbye.
A lot of people knew my dad as an outgoing, fun-loving, family man who served his country in Vietnam. Others knew him as a raging alcoholic that loved to curse and smoke. (Two completely different men, I do realize.) One of the most amazing blessings I have ever been able to receive occurred the day when the Lord allowed me to show my earthly father how to find peace with HIM (My Heavenly Father). After his many shortcomings, which we all have, I watched first-hand how the Lord spoke to my dad at the age of 56....We were on the phone talking the night before his open heart surgery and we begun to talk about the "what-ifs" surrounding his procedure. I asked him if was worried about where he would spend eternity and he said yes. My entire life he had always said that God could never forgive him for killing innocent people in war, that he couldn't even begin to ask the Creator of all things to save a place for him in his house.....That is a terrible burden to carry and I believe my dad carried it too long. I can't help but wonder how much of his alcoholism was attributed to the guilt he had from killing people in war. Don't misunderstand me, he was such a patriot that he would've gone back to hunt for Bin Laden if they would have let him. He never had any regret serving our country. My father was a brave man and provided for our family by making the military his career. However, I know it was hard for him to accept forgiveness for his sins. Nonetheless, our God patiently continued to pursue my father. His salvation came many years after he had quit drinking and God had begun to really "soften" his heart. Thank you, Lord, for redemption. I watched my father recover from his surgery and begin attending church. His foul language diminished and his countenance changed. He was CHANGED. Only God can do that.
I say all this to say, don't give up on the people God has put in your lives. If my mother had given up on him when I thought she should have, I shudder to think where he would be spending eternity. I am so thankful for a GOD that saves. I hope I have honored him and OUR SAVIOR, JESUS CHRIST, by telling you about my father on this day that I remember his earthly departure.
If you don't know Christ as your savior I'd love to tell you more about His love and forgiveness in my own life. His BLOOD covers a multitude of sin. If you'd like to ask Jesus to forgive you below is an example of the prayer I prayed with my father:
Dear Heavenly Father,
I know I am a sinner. I know Jesus was your one and only son, and he died on the cross after living a perfect and sinless life. After three days I know Christ arose from the dead and I know He is coming back. You allowed your Son to die so that I could have forgiveness and a place in Your kingdom. Please forgive me and send your Holy Spirit to help me live a life that gives You glory. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.
Heather,
ReplyDeleteI was there with you three years ago when your dad passed away, so it only seems fitting that my words greet your words tonight. You are such a special person, Heather, and your testimony here in this blog has has touched me. I knew how close you and your father were, as well as the struggles that were there, but I did not know that you were the one whose witness brought your dad to the Lord. What a wonderful bond the two of you have and will always have! I can just see the reunion the two of you will have in heaven now!! God bless you and your beautiful family!!
I love you, Martha. Thanks for being there then and now. I know you understand far too well the pain of missing your father. I hope you are doing well. I miss seeing you everyday, I think about you all the time! Maybe we will bump into each other soon! HUGS!
DeleteHeather,
ReplyDeleteYour daddy sounds like he was a lot like mine! I am sad today my dad's oldest brother passed away. I think about his life and how much he loved the Lord and there is no doubt he is walking with the Lord this very minute. My father is one of the youngest boys, my uncle was 82 and daddy is 68. Growing up my dad was a hard worker(still is) but he almost died during his open heart surgery at the age of 54(a little over a year after my momma passed away) He was given a vision during surgery of a man standing beside him in a nice suit, across a place he could see his mom, his mother in law, and his wife. He wanted to go there. The man in the suit said your not going where they are...you are coming with me! He said he knew it was satan. During that time the dr said they almost lost my dad, he was bleeding inside. Dad told the man no i am not going with you! When he awoke and told us of this he from that point on got his relationship right with the Lord and began his journey with Him. A lot has happened since then and now he is battling cancer. Everyday is a gift! The important thing is that we know where our fathers are going to spend eternity! There is no greater decision that can be made than knowing our savior personally and confessing Him as Lord. All i have been thru has changed me too. The way i love my kids and my husband and my family. EVERY SINGLE DAY IS A GIFT. Heather you are such a blessing! I look at you and i see Jesus in you! You are a blessing!! Hugs to you tonight! Hold onto your memories! So thankful we have the assurance of seeing our loved ones again!
Your words are so sweet. Thanks Amy. I am sad to hear of your uncle's death, and I rejoice with you that our God gives SECOND chances!!!!! I have prayed for your dad, and I will continue to do so. Cancer is a tough battle. Hang in there and fight with your daddy. These daddies are IRREPLACEABLE. EVERYDAY IS A GIFT, Amen. I pray that HE will be lifted high in my life and in yours!!!!
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