Temporary Things

I feel hopelessly overwhelmed by all the day to day "to-dos" at times. I can clean my house top to bottom, and two hours later (or less) it is cluttered with articles of clothing, toys, you name it. In a busy household with three children, I am not sure why I am surprised!

I am trying to teach myself that a clean house is TEMPORARY.  Is it just me? Or do we all put to much pressure on ourselves to have a "perfectly spotless" house? I like to have all the laundry caught up, the refrigerator full of good things to eat, and clean bathrooms and floors. However, I know that those things are TEMPORARILY caught up. At best I can "maintain" them.

Lately, I have felt like these daily tasks have been robbing me of my precious time that I could be spending  with the Lord or with my children. I know that time invested in either of those relationships will never be WASTED. It's not that I am saying let everything else go to complete dismay, but I wonder if we just gave ourselves permission to let those things wait- how much more satisfied with our day would we be? I'm asking myself, mainly because I want to EXPERIENCE deeper relationships with the ones I love. I am sure that when I am meeting my Maker, He will not criticize me dust bunnies on top of the entertainment center. Nor when I am an elderly person, possibly without nearby family or fading health, will I ever look back and regret not keeping my hardwood shined. No one cares if the sink has a pile of dirty dishes. No one will remember that the clean laundry sat in a stack on the dresser for a few days. I believe the generation I live in struggles to resemble perfection and we want to control everything a little too much. I know I do. I need to regroup and prioritize my time so that these TEMPORARY things don't get the best of me!

I just thought I would share. I know I am not the only one that tries to balance all of the responsibilities that come with being a busy mom and wife, while trying to maintain order in our home. However, I do believe we need to encourage each other to give ourselves a BREAK! I want those in my life to feel like they can drop by anytime and so what it my house isn't clean. I would rather spend some time visiting with a friend than cleaning ANY DAY! I also want to be clear with the ones I love, I will NEVER judge you by your fruit loops on the floor!

Have a great week!

Giving what you've got....

Sometimes it just seems like life is a rat-race. I hate to use that cliche, but it just IS what it IS! I am one of those ALL-IN kind of girls!  If I am IN on something, I like to go all the way with it. Sometimes, I like to take on a little more than I should and I am working on that.  Learning to say "no" hasn't been easy for me.....How about you? Maybe it's teaching a class at church, organizing an event or fundraiser, possibly planning parties, or maybe its just trying to squeeze in all the ballgames, dentist appointments, haircuts, and family dinners that you can possibly juggle into your weeks worth of family responsibilities. NO matter how big or small the task, they all stack up. Each one pulling me, and my family, in a million directions. They all matter in some way, right? I hope so, or else why would we even bother?  Whether you are a multi-tasking single mom, a stay-at-home-mother of four, or a working mom of two, we all desire to be the BEST mom we can be EVERYDAY. Sometimes that is complicated, because life is hard, but I think SIMPLIFICATION would help!

Just this week I was reminded how important the small things really can be for our families. Instead of going out for Valentine's Day, for several reasons, I thought it would be fun to make a big meal for my family and dine in! We used our used our wedding China, had candles, and homemade desserts. My children were so sweet when they said, "Dad, come in the dining room and see what Mom did for us!" My heart swelled with joy. That was my goal, to show them an out pour of my love for them. I have decided that they have to KNOW without a doubt that they are SPECIAL to me. In order to ensure that I do that, they have to SEE my love displayed in ways that touch their minds and hearts. Sounds simple enough, right? Even Lydia, who has been struggling to learn to eat solid foods, enjoyed TWO servings of my lasagna and peas! Little tears snuck out of the corner of my eyes to watch her enjoying her dinner in our dining room!  My four year finished the dinner with a plea of "Mom, can we do this again next year?"

I believe sometimes I am so busy that I am missing God's best for my life. Scaling back is getting easier but it is a daily surrender of my time. I have so many friends with similar scheduling dilemmas, and we can all say LIFE IS BUSY. It doesn't have to be chaotic, though. It seems as if just getting the laundry clean and put away is enough some weeks to push me right over the edge of motherly sanity! As if that were even something to stress out about. Ha! I don't believe that is God's plan for us. If we will give Him all the we have, HE will make it enough. If all we have is 20 minutes to spend in His word, or in prayer, maybe that is where we should start. I have been praying for His continued presence in my daily time with Him.  Yesterday as I was rushing around He reminded me that He wants me to be faithful to His word and to commit myself to Him in prayer. The story in Matthew 14 about Christ feeding the 5,000 people with just five loaves and two fish came to mind. As I read about that miracle again today, I am amazed at how the disciples just wanted to send the people away...Hurriedly....They didn't even think to ask our Lord to meet their needs. What a word for me. I just needed a good reminder of how simple it can be when we keep our eyes on Him. I pray He gives you peace this weekend and simplicity in your day today. I encourage you, and myself, to give Him what YOU HAVE and let Him do the rest!

Remembering Dad....

As the snow is silently stacking up outside my window, I can't help but think how perfect it is for me to spend this sad day indoors. All the while, I sit watching the bluebird play as if it were Spring. Such contrasting viewpoints of this life.....

Three years ago today my dad went to Heaven. That day has changed everything for me. It has changed my perspective on life, changed the way I parent, and has changed the way I LOVE the Lord.

No longer do I care for Friday 13's. I no longer feel complacent about funerals; I loath them. No longer can I say: "I can't wait to ask Dad about that." I must say I truly understand the hole that penetrates your soul when you loose someone that is irreplaceable.

I can also say that GOD is MERCIFUL and PRAISE HIM for HE is GOOD.

My dad was my best friend. My biggest fan. My true hero. Sigh. He made a lot of mistakes and was nowhere near perfect. In fact, I can remember begging my mother to divorce him on more than one occasion. Boy, I am so glad she didn't listen to me. I only share my pain of his loss with you to share HOPE with you. As my family and I grieve each year on this day, I also feel comfort knowing that I will see him again. He is resting in peace. My dad died at the young age of 59. He was not healthy, but his death was sudden and we were totally shocked that it was time to say goodbye.

A lot of people knew my dad as an outgoing, fun-loving, family man who served his country in Vietnam. Others knew him as a raging alcoholic that loved to curse and smoke. (Two completely different men, I do realize.) One of the most amazing blessings I have ever been able to receive occurred the day when the Lord allowed me to show my earthly father how to find peace with HIM (My Heavenly Father). After his many shortcomings, which we all have, I watched first-hand how the Lord spoke to my dad at the age of 56....We were on the phone talking the night before his open heart surgery and we begun to talk about the "what-ifs" surrounding his procedure. I asked him if was worried about where he would spend eternity and he said yes. My entire life he had always said that God could never forgive him for killing innocent people in war, that he couldn't even begin to ask the Creator of all things to save a place for him in his house.....That is a terrible burden to carry and I believe my dad carried it too long. I can't help but wonder how much of his alcoholism was attributed to the guilt he had from killing people in war. Don't misunderstand me, he was such a patriot that he would've gone back to hunt for Bin Laden if they would have let him. He never had any regret serving our country. My father was a brave man and provided for our family by making the military his career. However, I know it was hard for him to accept forgiveness for his sins. Nonetheless, our God patiently continued to pursue my father. His salvation came many years after he had quit drinking and God had begun to really "soften" his heart. Thank you, Lord, for redemption. I watched my father recover from his surgery and begin attending church. His foul language diminished and his countenance changed. He was CHANGED. Only God can do that.

I say all this to say, don't give up on the people God has put in your lives. If my mother had given up on him when I thought she should have, I shudder to think where he would be spending eternity. I am so thankful for a GOD that saves. I hope I have honored him and OUR SAVIOR, JESUS CHRIST, by telling you about my father on this day that I remember his earthly departure.

If you don't know Christ as your savior I'd love to tell you more about His love and forgiveness in my own life. His BLOOD covers a multitude of sin. If you'd like to ask Jesus to forgive you below is an example of the prayer I prayed with my father:

Dear Heavenly Father,

I know I am a sinner. I know Jesus was your one and only son, and he died on the cross after living a perfect and sinless life. After three days I know Christ arose from the dead and I know He is coming back. You allowed your Son to die so that I could have forgiveness and a place in Your kingdom. Please forgive me and send your Holy Spirit to help me live a life that gives You glory. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.

Bullies, How Far Will We Allow It To Go?

States have passed anti-bullying legislation making it illegal to bully. Bullying is so prevalent in our schools today that many have dedicated entire sections to it in their student handbooks. Our school handbook defines bullying in part as "the intentional harassment, intimidation, humiliation, ridicule, defamation, or threat or incitement of violence by a student against another student..."

As a parent, it is heartbreaking to hear your child has been violently hit or verbally assaulted. Upsetting enough that I even cried as my child calmly recounted his playground incident from Friday. We dealt with some bullying issues when he was in the first grade last year, but nothing that we felt was beyond the semi-normal realm of mean children being mean children. I was totally caught off guard when I realized we had a problem this year.

There had been several incidents here and there over the semester with some of our classmates that I had heard about, but I wasn't overly concerned because of my confidence in our teacher. During our parent teacher conferences I reported to her some of the stories I had been told, mainly to see if what I was hearing was true, and she confirmed they were and assured me that the mischief makers were being punished and so forth.

Fast forward to last week. My son came home daily with new stories of how so-and-so did such-and-such to little Billy and/or Sally. He was always quick to say, "but they didn't mess with me," or "but I didn't get involved" but it seemed like the incidents were increasing in severity. I always asked where the teacher was while these incidences were occurring and he always said that they weren't out there. When I would ask if his classroom teacher knew about it, he would say "Mom, we aren't allowed to tell our teacher anything that happens on the playground because she isn't out there." I told him that I would make a visit to see his principal to make sure that the school was aware that these incidents were happening. I also told him that even if he wasn't involved to always try to get help for kids that are being mistreated, and I really tried to reinforce that God wants us to be kind to one another and help those in trouble. In the moment, that felt like enough.

For several reasons I didn't stop in or call the school last week like I should have done. I figured I would get-around-to-it this week. Little did I know he was going to be shoved down, hit, and kicked several times Friday on the playground. All of which he really hesitated to tell me later that night as I was getting him ready for bed. It was almost as if he was embarrassed, like he had done something wrong. (I forget that he is a man in training, pride is already a factor!) Apparently several were involved: one girl was choked, one girl's hair was pulled, and he and a friend of his were hit and kicked. AGAIN, where were the teachers? Shocking, isn't it? Unannounced to him, I called several of the parents whose children were involved and each of their stories were the same...They had been playing with one another when the bullies came up and started harassing them. Totally uncalled for.

I would never want to embarrass him by telling this story, but after talking to several parents I feel that this story resonates with too many of our children.

As a parent, you simply feel helpless. To some extent, we are helpless. We did all the things we could. I went up to the school. Of course we reported the problem to the teacher and principal, we contacted other parents involved, and we tried to assure our child that just because other kids act a certain way doesn't mean that we should, but the effects of ridicule and violence outlast any trip to the Principal's office I have ever seen. Luckily, our child feels better after having met with our principal, and he shows no sign of fear of these other children. I can, however, see a scary future for these other children involved if immediate intervention isn't implemented. Teaching him to "love his enemies" according to the gospel of Matthew 5:44 and "to pray for them," hasn't been an easy task but we are trying. The mama bear in me wants to give everyone a spanking but seven year olds are getting a little big for a simple slap on the bottom. I'm not convinced that more violence is going to solve these children's issues.

According to www.bullyingstatistics.org, half of all school aged children will experience some form of school bullying. I recommend talking about bullying with your child/children. Our children have to hear us tell them that it is ok to report problems that are occurring at school. It is our job to LISTEN. We are THEIR ADVOCATES and we should protect them WITHOUT APOLOGY. I'm not sure that I care whether or not I upset the principal for repeating "I just want to make sure you understand I feel this is completely unacceptable and has to stop." My only concerns are that children are safe, that they can learn in an environment where they FEEL safe, and that my child knows that I will stand up for him.

My daddy would be proud of me, he always stood up for me. It was something I could count on out of him. :) I hope my children will one day be able to say the same of me. Let me hear from you, is bullying a problem you have faced? How did you deal with it? Much love to each of you.

Saying it with SONGS!

I have spent a lot of time reflecting on what God would have me to blog about this week, and HE has FAITHFULLY supplied plenty of material!

Although I have jotted down several ideas to share this week, I thought with my brief free time on a Saturday I would share some pieces of different songs that have come together to speak to me. I thought it was neat that God would use KLOVE (a Christian radio station) to help me have such an audible conversation with HIM! Each line is a different song lyric with the artist who sings the song in parenthesis!

Here is what I heard:

"I am RESTLESS looking for you.." (Switchfoot)
"Calloused and bruised, dazed and confused, lying with my face down on the floor, crying out for more. Give me words to SPEAK.." (Aaron Shust)
"YOU are GOOD, YOU are GOOD when there is nothing good in me....I'm running to your arms" (One Sonic Society)
"You reach for me with a love that quiets all my fears" (Peter Furled)
"I trust in JESUS, My STRONG DELIVERER" (Third Day)
"If we gotta start somewhere, I say here..we gotta start sometime, I say now..." (Toby Mac)
"You are making me new. You make BEAUTIFUL things out of the DUST." (Gunger)
"We are the light of the world, we are the city on a hill, we are the light of the world and we gotta let the light shine..." (Kelly JO)
"We'll sing until the whole world hears!" (Casting Crowns)

I hope you have a gReAt SATURDAY!
God BLESS!

Where we are now....

What a ROLLERCOASTER my life has been these last few months...I have struggled to accept unforeseen changes in my life. I have seen God move three of my five BEST FRIENDS to all sorts of different places. Then, my sister-in-law was promoted and her job moved her, my brother-in-law, my niece and my nephew four hours away. Just when I think I have a grip on all that is taking place, something else is tossed at us.

2011 definitely brought CHANGE, HEARTACHE, and GOD'S PRESENCE in the most TANGIBLE ways possible.

In November, Lydia turned one and what a great celebration I had planned.

We had a sweet cupcake party for her, and everyone brought items to donate to our church's compassion kits. The "bigger children" decorated their cupcakes, I read "If You Give a Mouse a Cupcake" and everyone enjoyed the candy bar items. We sang "Happy Birthday" with great joy. She giggled at all the attention, but she couldn't eat her cake...Sigh....Of all things, this shouldn't really bother me. I wasn't surprised at all, but somehow that represented one more thing she wasn't able to do and I WANTED her to be able to eat her cake. It was HER party. We held it together. Nonetheless, we had a great time celebrating HER!

Our Thanksgiving was spent in a tropical paradise with some of our dearest friends that moved away from us a year ago. They have left the busier schedules of our society and are living on island where they have started a home church that is GROWING weekly. I am in awe of how God has placed them exactly where they are, maybe I can share more about them later! We just took our two older boys, and did we ever have an adventure! We snorkeled, we cave-tubed (with bats!), and we enjoyed some fun in the sun. It was a nice break from our daily routines and hectic schedules. We couldn't have been MORE THANKFUL for our time with our friends and time away. (My husband rarely takes time off, and we soaked in as much QUALITY time as possible! The picture is a snapshot of our adventure!)

The month of December brought Christmas, a couple of FUN, Festive parties, some FAMILY time, and more turmoil in my life! My DEAREST friend and her family packed up and headed to the Northwest to plant a church in Spokane, Washington. Talk about FAR AWAY! Ugh! It was almost too much to take. God truly had blessed me with her friendship for the last 4 years, but as a pastor's wife and born missionary, I guess I always knew I wouldn't have her for long. What a great friend she has been, a true example to me of a SERVANT WIFE and Christian friend. I am sure she has strengthened my faith and my family. HER FAITH CHALLENGES ME....It is, in fact, one reason I have decided to open myself up here and share my GOD STORIES with each of you.

I am definitely a "WORK IN PROGRESS", imperfect person, still trying to make meaning from all the unsettling chaos in my life....You will not find one of those people who have it all together here. AND, I will try not to bore you with SO MANY personal details of my life, and begin to blog more about daily insights that I believe may relate to ALL of US, as I strive to be the AUTHENTIC kind of person I believe God wants me to be.

I say bring on 2012! "WE can do all things through Christ who gives US strength." Philippians 4:13... More to come on my thoughts and goals for a great new year...

Possible Setback? (2 Corinthians 5:7)

October's Prayer Requests...(Still referring to Recapping the last 7 months post...)

(I included a picture of our sweet girl, just in case you were curious of what she looks like! Isn't she a sweetie?)

Dear Prayer Warriors,

We continue to feel your prayers and the Lord's presence as we walk our journey. How can we ever thank you? You bring glory to our Father and its amazing to see how God uses your prayers to manifest himself in our lives!

Lydia is still making progress. This part of our journey started when she was 6 months and she is now nearly 11 months old! We are seeing her use her neck, arms, and legs more and more. She is able to spend longer and longer amounts of time on her stomach, pushing up and rolling over some. She seems to recognize the words: momma, dada, bubba, her name, bye-bye and bite! Her love for Elmo and Dora is already obvious, and her "crazy hair" continues to grow in its own unique way! She is loving, laid back, funny, and precious in every way. Please continue to ask God to help grow stronger every day!

Our physical therapist believes that last Friday she displayed a 1 to 2 second "episode" that could have been a seizure. I was sitting less than a foot away from Lydia and didn't see anything I would have ever characterized as a seizure, but I couldn't see her eyes and I am no expert in this area. It is very troubling to us because we know that she is at risk of having seizures. Our neurologist immediately prescribed a "preventive" type of seizure medication. On the way to the pharmacy, though, I grew overwhelmingly worried that putting Lydia on any kind of medicine like this one would be a hasty decision. Jud felt the same way. We called our neurologist back and asked a million questions. To be certain that Lydia needs this medication, or doesn't need it, we will do a 24 hour EEG on November 7. There are no guarantees that the "episode" will re-occur, if indeed it did ever occur. At this point, we have not started the medication. The medication would be something they would keep her on for two years before re-evaluating her, then it must be "tapered" down before taking her completely off of it. You can imagine our unrest. Please pray that if Lydia is having any kind of seizure activity that we will be able to see that in the EEG, but also pray that she is not seizing. We are so thankful for our physical therapist and neurologist, they are EXCELLENT. We know that they are very proactive and they have been blessings to us.

The Lord continues to be faithful. As our hearts cling to HIM, HE meets us exactly where we are, exactly when we need it. I find myself hearing more every day about the struggles of each of us. Thank you for sharing in our lives in such a real way. Being transparent is not something that comes natural to any of us, but there is such power in it. We know that this LIFE is HARD and we are thankful we are not alone. Thank you for being patient with us as our lives have changed, and thank you for your prayers on behalf of our sweet Lydia.

"So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened. Which of you fathers, if your sons asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead? ..... If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!" Luke 11:9-13

"We live by faith, not by sight." 2 Corinthians 5:7